Matters of the Heart & True Love

February 14. Pink. Hearts. Teddy bears. Chocolates. Roses. Love. An entire day [and basically month] dedicated to such frivolities.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for dove dark chocolates. And I adore even the simple thought of pure love. But sometimes we get a little bit carried away with the artificial. The things that last mere moments in the aspect of eternity.
I’ve taken this Valentine’s Day Season to reflect in a different way that I usually do.

I’ve looked within, and I’m working to develop ways in which I can better turn my heart toward God.

For, “... the Lord looketh on the heart.” [1st Samuel 16:7]

I’ve prayed lately that the Lord would help me see what I need to change, help me be better and kinder.

I know my heart is often fickle, my heart frequently spouts jealousy. My heart is so far from perfect, but I know it CAN be perfected, and is in the process of being perfected by my Savior. [and boy do I have a long way to go! : )] BUT that’s okay, we’re all at different places on our little journey Home. Our hearts are all learning different things, through different experiences, and that is just as it is meant to be.

Most importantly we are meant to turn to Christ in this heart changing process.

A Heart Like His

I want a heart that is kind.

a heart of I’m sorries

yes pleases

and thank yous

I want a heart that hears

and not only hears but listens

I want a heart that has been broken

and healed

again and again

through the atonement

and with each healing, it grows stronger

I want a heart that glows

and with each healing, it glows brighter

I want a heart that laughs

as well as lives

lives each day like our time here is precious

because it is

there’s so much to do

in so little time

in this little life

just a sliver of eternity

like a sentence or two

perhaps a paragraph

in size seven point five font

of an endless novel

I want a heart that cares

a little too much

because in that caring

I discover who I am

I discover my divine nature

I want a heart that’s always seeking

seeking light and truth

and always virtue

I want a heart that is humble

and meek

I want a heart that is pure

a heart that I can place before the Lord

and let Him mend

let Him shape

I want a heart like His

because His heart shows the truest kind of love

there ever was

and there ever will be

I want a heart that loves

I want a heart like His

“ ...the Lord hath sought him a man after his own heart” 1 Sam 13:14

Our Great God knows me perfectly. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows my thoughts, and my heart, He knows I am trying. Oh am I trying, He knows my imperfections through and through. And He is perfect. He is Love.

Our hearts, our ability to feel and love, is one of the greatest gifts given to us of God. It is proof of our Divine heritage. Our ability to love testifies that we ourselves are literal offspring of the One with the Greatest Love. The One who loved us so, that he sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us.

Jesus Christ is our greatest exemplar for Love. He gave His life for us. It was a single act of Love that impacted all of history. And should personally impact us every day of our lives. Let us allow this pure love to shape us, to strengthen us, and to guide us, in this crazy world filled with the artificial, the passions often described as “love.”

Let us seek the Love of God. And emanate it in all we do.

not my words. but lovely words on love regardless..

Love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end, love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life.

Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life.

forever, eternally patient, and forgiving

how do I love thee,

And it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him [and her].

words that shine

[journal entries turned blog posts lol.]

words are fickle things. they possess insurmountable power. power to lift. to inspire. power to drag down. to hurt. to impact.

words are the way of human life. we start with garbled phrases. our “first words” are hoped for and then fawned over. throughout life we learn how words should be used. but that doesn’t mean everyone uses their words correctly.

I know for a fact I have said words to hurt someone else. not usually on purpose. sometimes in jest. but the fact is they’ve injured. those instances which I hope are few in number stick. stick in one’s mind forever. apologies may be offered. forgiveness may be given. though that does not mean those moments slip the mind.  

the way words impact us is incredible. the popular playground phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is false. in my opinion words leave deeper wounds. bones heal with time. but hearts and minds are the hardest to convince. hearts and minds are the most difficult to heal.

I have a passion for words. for communication. for journaling. and simply writing. words are beautiful. but it’s all about how we use them.

I strive to watch my words. I strive to never purposely hurt another with my words. because when I look to my Savior -- when I look to his words. I find the perfect example. He used love. and justice. His words healed. His words were submissive and humble. His words taught, and continue to teach. He is the Word. His words are words of hope and peace. His words, and even deeper his actions bring everlasting life. His Atonement is priceless. He suffered the ultimate Sacrifice. He bled from every pore. And in His hardest moments His words were few.

“ in John 17, Jesus offered an intercessory prayer. “I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do … before the world was.” (John 17:4–5.)He then went on to say in verse 24, “For thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.” (John 17:24.)”

Matthew 26

42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.

44 And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.

D&C 19

18 Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

19 Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.

His words were pleas unto the Father which teaches us the ultimate lesson. Our Father hears our every word. Our Father seeks our love through the words within our hearts.

and his words in his final moments. 

Luke 22

34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

46 And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. 

[he endured. TO THE END! for Me. for mercy. for justice. for love.]

His words are the crowning words of humility. of submission. of pure love. of devotion to his Father. to Our Father.

Christ’s words are the perfect model as to how my words should be. Christ is the perfect example.

Parallels and Identities

The other day I sat and drove with my mother. We talked about anything and everything. Sometimes I bring up my little self, and she always talks of my personality at that age.

She then brought up some thoughts from when us girls were little. She shared with me her feelings towards getting shots as children.

She said the doctor would have her set us up on her lap, and the nurses would administer the shots. We would look up at her. We would cry and scream. She couldn’t help putting the words into our mouths, “Mommy, why would you do this to me? Why would you let them hurt me like this?”

She said as we got shots, as we had those feelings, she sat with us and cried. She wept with us.

Oh what a wonderful parallel can be drawn here. Because those shots were to protect us. Those shots were there to ensure our growth. To better us.

So now I imagine my Savior. I am in His arms. And I am struggling. I seem to be failing miserably. The pain. The heartache. I feel it all. But I don’t realize I’m in His arms. He is holding me tight. Protecting me. And as I question Him, as I question my Father in Heaven, “Why? Why would you do this to me? Why are you letting me struggle? Why are you giving me these trials.”

I don’t always see his tears. Jesus wept. Jesus is weeping. With us. As we have feelings of discontent, pain, and sorrow He is there at our side. And though we may not be aware- He is cradling us in his arms. 

I can imagine Him saying, “Don’t you see my child, don’t you know I understand the pain that you are going through? Endure it. I will not leave your side, dear one. Don’t you know that this pain will strengthen your faith? Don’t you know that these trials are necessary for your growth? Don’t you know that because of the things in which you endure you will be able to make it Home safely back to me?”

This is truth. He weeps with us.  He smiles with us. He understands us better than any being upon the face of this earth. He longs for us to realize- fully realize that our lives are in His Hands. That our Father in Heaven has a perfect plan for us. He longs for us to comprehend that all things work together for our good.

It’s an interesting thing. We are to be humble. We are to be as little children. Little children look to their parents with utmost faith. Little children trust and love their parents with all their hearts. And in return their parents love them. [mosiah 3:19]

My Heavenly Parents love me.

I am their daughter, I am a daughter of a King. I have great worth.

That’s the thing- Father wants us to realize our Individual Worth. Our Divine Nature. But in that we must not become prideful. 

None of us can escape that identity given to us by God in Heaven above. We are beloved. We are His. We must realize this & appreciate this, and with that we can become oh so glorious. Oh so happy.

// sunday thoughts

lovely lovely words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf from an address titled [The Reflection in the Water]

"Too many go about their lives thinking they are of little worth when, in reality, they are elegant and eternal creatures of infinite value with potential beyond imagination...."

"Because He is merciful and loves His children, God has given again in these latter-days the truth about where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going."

"My dear young friends, this knowledge allows you to see your own reflection in the water. It assures you that you are not ordinary, rejected, or ugly. You are something divine — more beautiful and glorious than you can possibly imagine. This knowledge changes everything. It changes your present. It can change your future. And it can change the world."

"There will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting you are but ugly ducklings and that you can't expect to become anything else.

But you know better. Because of the revealed word of a merciful God, you have seen your true reflection in the water and you have felt the eternal glory of that divine spirit within you. You are no ordinary beings, my beloved young friends all around the world. You are glorious and eternal."

Words

Happy. Happy. Happy.

You Lovely Lovely Thing.

SHINE for Him.

Breathe Kindness.

Remember Who You Are.

Stand in Holy Places.

Choose the Right.

Think Lovely Thoughts.

Prayer Heals.

Doubt Not. Fear Not.

Be Faithful.

Laugh.

Love One Another.

Night Light

Sometimes the darkness is overwhelming. Sometimes it envelops us and it seems there is no glimmer of light.
It may feel as if the world is closing in on us, shouting in our ears so incredibly loud. Other times the darkness seems to whisper- softly, deceit heavy in its tone.

Sometimes we may see everything going on around us, absurd views, twisted morals, the belief that what's wrong is right, and we have to ask ourselves, should we let it crush us? Is it possible to stand tall in a world so riddled with sin?

Because we have a wonderful tool, a beautiful gift, a Savior, Jesus Christ, it is possible to stand firm.

Imagine little me- tears ready to burst out of my eyes, an honest plea escaping my lips, "Mommy please please please leave the door open. So I can see the light?"
It's a common fear- the fear of darkness. And a fear that makes total complete sense. Darkness is often associated with Satan, while light is associated with God and his Beloved Son Jesus Christ.
As I have grown older that fear hasn't completely left me- the fear of darkness, but I think that fear has developed into something deeper. I'm not just simply afraid of physical darkness, but spiritual darkness.

One talk I heard mentioned that instead of being fearful of the monsters under our bed we should fear the darkness that comes from sin, from addictions, and things that drive away the spirit of Christ.
I wholeheartedly agree with such words- and I now recognize a greater the best source of light.
A light that will never dim. A light that if you allow, will never leave your side. A light that is brighter than the noon-day sun. A light that combats the darkness of the adversary. A light that pushes back all darkness. A light for the night, as well as the day. When the night seems as though it will never end and the darkness surrounds us- we can still find light in our Savior, Jesus Christ. 
He is my night light.

His Light- His Atonement is incredible. Unfathomable. Comforting. Enabling. Beautiful. And I am ever grateful for Him.
I know without a doubt that Jesus Christ suffered for me, for everyone, and that He LIVES.
Oh it is wonderful that He is my Night Light.

truth & love

"Do you think that people will obey the truth because it is true, unless they love it? No, they will not. Truth is obeyed when it is loved." -Brigham Young
And a with a few added words from my father.
Truth is obeyed when it is loved, but sometimes truth has to be lived before it is loved.
There are so many truths that I love, but honestly that love did not come with the snap of my fingers. Many truths that I love I had to first, and must continue to live.

So... how might these truths be found, because without found truths one has nothing to live, nothing to love, and nothing to be obeyed.
As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf proclaimed in a conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on October 4, 2014, "You must search the Word of God with sincere desire to discover truth,  a desire to believe. " #ldsconf
Search the Word of God. Sounds a little complicated, but oh how wonderful the reward is.
Answers to questions that press on your mind. Peace that abides in your soul. That is a wonderful reward.
The Holy Bible is the Word of God. The Book of Mormon is the Word of God. The words spoken by modern day prophets and apostles are the Word of God.
They are truth. Simply and wonderfully. This past weekend I had the opportunity to hear these words spoken, and they spoke truth to my soul.
Now I realize it's time apply and reapply these words, these truths to my life.

I must:
Continue to strengthen my testimony.
Realize and help others realize that spiritual light is within reach of everyone of God's children.
Seek to avoid contention.
Remember kindness is powerful.
Acknowledge and face my weaknesses but do not become immobilized by them.
Pray for those in need. Poor as to things to the world. Poor in heart. Help those in need.
Be a Christian. Dedicate my whole life to my Savior.
Go and DO
Choose to heed the voice Prophet's and apostles voice.
"I must be about my Father's business."
Personally evaluate my testimony.
Focus on my Savior's Atonement, and the Sacrament.
Remember decisions determine destiny.
Walk as the Savior walked.
Stay in the boat.
Press forward.
Stay focused. 
Remember that my purpose in coming here is to be tested, tried and stretched.
Choose to converse with my Father in Heaven, tell Him everything.
Remember prayer is protection. Spiritually and physically.
Look to the blessings of the future and evaluate how I am living in the present.
Don't give up on family history, you are linking together your eternal family.
Remember there must be opposition in a things.
Go ye therefore and teach all people, all nations.

"I learned so many incredible things this General Conference. Now I'm learning to love these truths, and commandments spoken by Prophet's and Apostles of God so that I can obey them to the best of my ability.
For truth is obeyed when it is loved."

not my photo, but my edit. ♡

Stones and Temples.

"I like people who smile when it rains."

Yesterday I saw this quote and it caused me to stop and ponder for a moment. Of course I immediately thought of literal rain, but then I began to think of spiritual rain? Do I smile when I'm going through the hard stuff? The really hard stuff, the thunder storms of life, the times when it's pouring and it seems like the sun will never show again?

I would like to say yes, I would like to say I'm the peppiest most positive person, who knows that things will always work out, but I know I'd only be lying to myself. Of course I'm not constantly smiling through the storms of life.

In the Book of Mormon, there is a story in Ether Chapter 6, where there is a group of people known as the Jaredites who are preparing to travel to the promised land in sealed barges which would normally be void of light.

The Lord causes stones to shine in darkness, so that the people will not suffer in darkness during their travels. Though these weren't just any old rocks. These stones were white, pure, and clear. 

"And thus the Lord caused stones to shine in darkness, to give light unto men women, and children that they might not cross the waters in darkness."

Have you ever thought of yourself as a stone? (maybe not literally) But even the thought "I don't have true significance in this world." or "I'm just one out of billions of people what difference could I make in a world so big." 

Why can't you be a stone, that is pure, that is virtuous, that is kind, and honest? The stone that the Savior, Jesus Christ, can cause to shine in darkness?

You can be a light to others. Others look to your example, and even if you don't realize it, people are always watching. You have power. And even though it may seem a little far fetched you can, and will affect generations.  

Be a friend. Love. Serve. 

I want to be the girl, who doesn't falter in her faith. Who "doubts her doubts before she doubts her faith." The girl, who knows who she is, who knows that she is a Daughter of an Almighty God. I want to always remember that I have a Savior, and a Brother, who sacrificed His life for me. I want to always remember that I can have a righteous influence, whether it be in a large or small way.

I want to be the girl who smiles when it's raining, but for now I'm going to enjoy the sunshine, and prepare for the storms of life that are sure to come.

When I think of stones, I begin to think of all the great things that have come out of such a small and simple thing. Many temples around the world are made of stone. We are those stones that are building the kingdom of heaven. 

I think it's safe to say that the temple is my happy place. The temple is a place where I can truly feel heaven near. One day I want to be married in the temple, so that I might be with my family for time and all eternity. But I know that in order to do this, I will need to stand strong in my beliefs, and never compromise my standards. I will need to be that stone, everyday striving to become, more pure, more holy, more like my dear Savior.

Oh how I love to see the temple.

My temple painting, and I.